I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
