He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
