In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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