Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
