WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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