Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's never too late to be topless.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
