I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
