I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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