So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize