i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
