I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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