If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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