Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
