turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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