I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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