I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
