1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
