His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
