new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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