Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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