Where are you?
In a non slutty way
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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