She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
