haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
