Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
