just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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