Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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