all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
