There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
