Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

tweet Hawks Win!! tweet

(847): View more from Illinois

That's how twitter works, right?

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(847): tweet Hawks Win!! tweet (847): That's how twitter works, right? http://tfl.nu/21xu

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(775): View more from Nevada

I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.

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(775): I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again. http://tfl.nu/wdl0

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.

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(203): She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock. http://tfl.nu/zr1r

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(614): View more from Ohio

What tipped you off? The sombrero?

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(614): What tipped you off? The sombrero? http://tfl.nu/yqu3

Replies (11) Good night (4616) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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(619): View more from California

Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.

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(619): Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames. http://tfl.nu/itz7

Replies (12) Good night (4384) Bad night (1004) Order T-Shirt
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(650): View more from California

You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.

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(650): You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him. http://tfl.nu/2plm

Replies (14) Good night (5513) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.

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(970): Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier. http://tfl.nu/o9ed

Replies (19) Good night (9100) Bad night (1277)
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(224): View more from Illinois

I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.

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(224): I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone. http://tfl.nu/1jen

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(540): View more from Virginia

It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her

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(540): It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her http://tfl.nu/aiow

Replies (36) Good night (1516) Bad night (4132)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.

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(+44): Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though. http://tfl.nu/3f7o

Replies (7) Good night (5072) Bad night (782)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.

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(304): his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on. http://tfl.nu/aue5

Replies (8) Good night (721) Bad night (3614) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate

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(512): I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate http://tfl.nu/79c0

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(845): View more from New York

he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"

(845): View more from New York

where do u find these people!?

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(845): he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life" (845): where do u find these people!? http://tfl.nu/mb20

Replies (8) Good night (2630) Bad night (758)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.

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(907): Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid. http://tfl.nu/45so

Replies (11) Good night (2396) Bad night (379) Order T-Shirt
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(406): View more from Montana

Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.

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(406): Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home. http://tfl.nu/eyf5

Replies (6) Good night (777) Bad night (299)

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