And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
pray to the hookup gods
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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