my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
someone owes me an orgasm
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's not a walk of shame if you run
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize