i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
