think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
