You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
