Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
