Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Please don't give away my fajitas
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
