Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
