Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pray to the hookup gods
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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