kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
