:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
