i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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