There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
