brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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