i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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