I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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