Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
