can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
