I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
