i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
