dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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