need another drink. this is the easiest way
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
