Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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