Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
