Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
please come you make the beer taste better
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
