Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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