Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
