i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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