what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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