He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
